Fathers Day can be challenging for some

Father’s day is a day to celebrate the Dads, father figures and mentors in our lives. For anyone grieving, separated from or missing their Dad though it can be a very challenging time.

The tools, ties and socks catalogues start rolling in way too soon for those of us who will have no father or child to be with this Father’s Day. Even if our father is still alive, we may be apart from him or isolated from him and our family this year for a variety of reasons.

For whatever reason we are ‘fatherless’ the grief can be overwhelming on this day.

But the spiritual presence of Dad can still be celebrated for the rock, guide and mentor he was – the man who made us feel safe and protected. The man who helped us to grow into the person we have become.

Those who have a strained relationship or are estranged from their father can often look to others in their lives who have played that role and give thanks to them for that influence.

And men who have lost a child may find themselves struggling on this day. They may choose to use this day to remember their child, or be celebrated as the loving father that they are, even if their child cannot be here to celebrate them. 

For those of us without fathers or children this Father’s Day there may be other ways to honour the role Dad played in our lives.

LOOK FOR ALL THE DADS IN YOUR LIFE AND CELEBRATE THEM.

Your Dad may be there in other men and role models. A colleague or manager may be there watching your back and shining a light on your strengths. A neighbour, an uncle, a grandfather, a friend, may all play a part in being dads for you. You could give them a gift on Father’s Day, chat to them via phone or video, send them a message or recognise for yourself how you are still protected, guided and cared for.

CELEBRATE WITH OTHERS WHO DON’T HAVE THEIR DADS WITH THEM.

Have a Father’s Day get together online with friends or family members who you cannot physically be with due to isolation restrictions. Share memories, crack some Dad jokes and celebrate with other people who play an important role in your life.

DO SOMETHING THAT WOULD IMPRESS HIM AND MAKE HIM PROUD.

Dads set standards for us to live up to. To give more, work more, play more. We learn those lessons as we grow up. It can feel like he is there with you when you do something in honour of those lessons. Acknowledge the strength you have within yourself to achieve what you set out to do.

CARE FOR YOURSELF.

How did your dad care for you? Was it a big cuddle at night before bed? Was it spending time together listening to music or watching a favourite movie? Was it financial advice?...a great time to get your tax done! Was it taking you to your sporting or special events?...

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND DO THINGS TO REMEMBER HIM ON THIS DAY.

Whatever you need to do to ease the pain of this day without your dad, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for support and find the dad within yourself and others.

At Tobin Brothers, we wish you all the love and support you need this Father’s Day.

Today we celebrate the Dad’s in our lives, the lessons they have taught us, the values they have instilled in us and the love we have for them.

Originally published September 1st 2021, updated August 31st 2024.